“You’re a nobody. You’re insignificant to this world. You can’t even look after yourself. You didn’t do anything good with your life. You’re ruthless. You’re toxic…to yourself and to the ones around you. You’re a shame and a disgrace to this world. How can you even stand your own presence?”

Exactly…how can you?

What is this great “disease” that we all suffer from, at some point in life?! Why do we tend to sabotage and destroy ourselves with this matter? Why do we like it so much when we hide ourselves behind a mask? Before you go any further with this text, you must know that I have no studies in psychology whatsoever. I speak out of my own experience and this is my subjective approach regarding this matter.
Day by day we tend to plan our lives up ahead. We like the comfort of the feeling that we’re in charge, that everything in our lives is going “as planned”. But what happens when you’re not so sure about the decisions that you’re about to make? What happens when you don’t know which way to go, when you’re coming across a junction in your life? What happens if you tend to weigh too much a certain situation, or emotion? The answer can be provided in two simple words: self-sabotage.
We end up destroying ourselves because of low self-esteem / low self-confidence. These are, in my opinion, the main reasons why we tend to destroy our perception. Lacking in self-confidence / self-esteem is like lacking in a major organ such as the heart, or the brain…you need them in order to survive, just like you need self-confidence in order to survive in this chaos and jungle-like society we live in. Lacking in confidence is like being at the end of the food chain. They will “eat” us alive…or even worse, we will end up “eating” ourselves alive.
The main reason why we lose confidence in ourselves is because we compare our lives with one another. We compare our wealth, our happiness, our goals. And we must immediately stop doing that. We need to understand that each and everyone of us is unique. Each of us has it’s own reality, each of us has it’s own level of comfort and joy…each of us has it’s own self, this is the irony. Comparison with others will just slowly kill you.
And why do we compare ourselves? Because of the expectations we’re creating. We’re expecting everything to be as close as possible to the idea of “perfect”. We want the “almost perfect” girlfriend / boyfriend…but we end up trying to change their own self just so that it can mach perfectly to our ego and…expectations. We want the “almost perfect” job, the one that will bring us a ton of money and we’ll end up doing what we want…but we end up with another broken expectation because we’re way too comfortable to actually pursue that goal. Comparison and the ridiculous expectations that we impose to our being and to the ones surrounding us during life will only make us feel more uprooted from our own “self”, thus setting free emotions like “disappointment” , “discourage” , “redemption” , “regret”, all of them feeding the feeling of disintegration of self.